Sparky Comics

Bad poetry about killing my cat....
background story..... my cat is quite possibly the most annoying living or non-living thing in the universe. imagine one million needles stabbing at your face while someone tries to scrub off all the freckles on your body using rusty steel wool, and at the same time your feet are being boiled in hydrochloric acid.....(As a side note, please realize im not actually going to kill my cat. i actually like it, its just writing morbid poetry about its destruction is way more fun than petting it)

death by poetry:On a cold windy night
I plan my cats death so its just right
its death must be divine
for the cat has lives numbered nine
it meows
it whines
I always hear it cry
but very soon it shall die
water torture, death by car.
either arent very far..
the cat wakes me as I sleep
I cannot wait to bury it far down deep
with this cat ive put up with a lot
but now im so annoyed, im in a spot
now I need a plan thats grand
one thats cool and not bland
stragulation?
decapitation?
car-hittingination?
none are of high enough caliber
this feline must suffer!
my plan's delineation is as such
(I stole it from those cunning dutch)
ill come for her in the night
and with a hammer her head ill smite
the deed soon will be done
boy its going to be fun
this is o so grand
so im off to do what ive planned
here...kitty...kitty...kitty...

poem #2 "korea here i come":

Kitty prepare to say "Korea here I come"

They'll prolly eat all of you or some

Most likely leaving nothing to spare

Except, perhaps, the occasional hair

Trust me, they're hungry

And kitty your getting plumpy

Soon i wont have to hear your annoying tones

Instead Koreans will be eating off your bones

Im tired of playing this game

Of life with you sucking all the same

Your more annoying than nipple clamps

Sending you to korea is worth the 98 stamps

weather your deep fried

or kitty pot pied

as long as your agitating me is done

for me it will all be good fun

Here are 17 syllables to push that stupid feline that is a horrible excuse for a pet into the great beyond...cheers!

Kitty Haiku:

kitty you must die
i'll make it painful, torture?.
kitty cat blender?

Haiku Kitty 2:

I wish to kill you
How to dispose of your corpse?
Shovel and some lime....

Haiku 3:
kitty must die now
god please send kitty to hell
thats where she belongs